Master My Stories

Lesson outline:

Emotion is a large factor in our everyday discussions. Once you've created your emotions you have 2 options-
1. act on them
2. be acted on by them
Meaning you can be in control or have them control you.

Path to Action
See/ Tell a Story Feel Act
Hear

Retrace your path:
1. Stop what you're doing. Why are you doing it?
2. ACT- Notice behavior. Am I in some form of silence or violence?
3. Feel- Get in touch with your feelings. What emotions are making me act this way
4. Tell a Story- Analyze the situation. What story is creating these emotions?
5. See/Hear- Get back to the facts. What evidence do I have to support this story?

3 Stories People often tell themselves
1. Victim- "It's not my fault."
We are the innocent sufferers, others are bad and wrong.

2. Villain- "It's all your fault."
We tell others how bad they are. Exaggerate that were not at fault. Make others feel guilty.

3. Helpless Stories--"there's nothing else I can do."
We are powerless to do anything else.

The Speaker-Listener Technique

Hello everybody! Please excuse the delay. Below is a refresher on the speaker-listener technique (Please practice this throughout the week):

THE FLOOR*
Speaker/Listener Technique

Rules for the Speaker:
1. Speak for yourself. Don’t mind-read!
2. Keep statements brief. Don’t go on and
on.
3. Stop to let the Listener paraphrase.

Rules for the Listener:
1. Paraphrase what you hear.
2. Focus on the Speaker’s message.
Don’t rebut.

Some other points from lesson one

Some beginning guidelines for communication:

We cannot NOT communicate

All forms of communication depend on open and receptive listening

Our own biases can close our mind and plug our ears to new musical experiences

The same thing can happen when we listen to words. Most of us are selective listeners, hearing only those words that support our personal interests and views

We hit a sort of MUTE BUTTON that keeps us closed and unreceptive to new learning opportunities

Listeners must be OPEN and RECEPTIVE --- slow to hit the mute button --- in order to understand and learn from what they hear

This kind of listening is an act of genuine RESPECT and CARING for other human beings